Welcome back to David Watch!, the informatve series which is probably better than Bernard's Watch and might even give Springwatch  a run for its money. Just to remind you, this strand keeps an eye on an assortment of celebrity Davids. Let's see what they've all been doing: complete with colour pictures!

David Miliband has sought to emphasise the positives of 2008 on his blog. "The year that was will be remembered for the economic crash, and for very difficult conflicts from Afghanistan to Sudan.  The pain of Zimbabwe's people deepened.  The shadow of terrorism hit India hard." But it's not all doom and gloom in Miliband's eyes: "In Iraq progress on security and economy was maintained."  I imagine it's not a Labour government in Iraq, then. He even managed to annoy Iran by saying that Iran's nuclear programme was a threat to world security. Fair point.

Miliband has also bigged-up the EU's efforts to tacke piracy in Somalia. In return, he got rinsed by the public, who chipped in with comments like "Is it just a coincidence that as the US backed occupation of Somalia by Ethiopia goes tits up it's all Somali pirates this and Somali pirates that?" by 'Mark'. 'stu' added "And stop backing warlords." Miliband also celebrates more than 100 countries' decision to drop (e.g. stop using) cluster bombs; but, as 'Paul' pointed out, "Shame that the definition of cluster bomb / multiple munitions excludes the next generation of weapons that we are buying from the Americans..."

British politics' second-most-famous modern David has plenty on his New Year to-do list: sorting out Gaza, sorting out Afghanistan and Pakistan, sorting out Africa, and sorting out climate change. Superman, doubtless, fears for his job.

My favourite sentence on his blog? "Coal is a reality."  That must be a deep, Confucius-style philosophical statement with profound implications about the modern world. Maybe? No? Has he been watching too much Heroes? (See 'The Book of Suresh'.)

Miliband's fascinating factoids #1: "Kabul now has blackberry coverage." Presumably that's the alternative to cluster bombs.

 

David Bellamy has joined in with the public's new favourite sport (BBC-hating) and has had a bit of a tiff with George Monbiot of the Guardian, in the process. The unreliable Wiki reports that "Dr Bellamy complained in November 2008 that his dissent from global warming has resulted in rejection for his BBC TV program ideas." Nothing to do with the BCC's preference for clear speakers, then?

Monbiot disagrees with Bellamy's claims. He observed that Bellamy had not worked with the BBC since 1994, despite only publicly disagreeing with global warming since 2004. Mombiot correctly pointed out that Bellamy had supported the global warming theory until the turn of the milennium. Who says research skills are dead?

Bellamy does deserve applause for being the first of our Davids to dissent against the political heavyweights of Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, La-La and Po. He commented: “Have you noticed there is a wind turbine on Teletubbies? That’s subliminal advertising, isn’t it?”

That man really doesn't like wind turbines. In December he was in Llandudno to oppose one of the world's largest offshore windfarms.

It's all rather strange.

 

David N'Gog created the fifth goal in Liverpool's 5-1 win away at Newcastle. Within eight minutes of coming on, the mighty 19-year-old was tugged down by Edgar, a penalty was given, and Xabi Alonso scored to complete the rout. He has made several other substitute appearances, too.

N'Gog also started Liverpool's Champions League match away to PSV, and slotted home the third goal as the Red won 3-1.

 

David Dickinson caused a severe shortage of orange paint when the "Bobby Dazzler" appearing in Star Portraits with Rolf Harris. Obviously the BBC don't care about Dickinson's views on the environment: probably "cheap as chips!"

 

David Bowie has done nothing of note, it would seem. However, his work was credited as an influence for the brilliant La Roux. Go and download Quicksand. Do it now.

 

Anyway, I'll be examining the next diabolical deeds of our Davids in April. Until then, bye-bye, and remember: erect a wind turbine at your own peril.

Hello. I thought it was about time I mentioned my brother David. He deserves it.

 

Anyway, I thought I'd start a regular entry, looking at a selection of famous Davids, and what they've been up to, on a bimonthly basis. Here are the five Davids we'll be looking at:

 

David Miliband is in the Democratic Republic of Congo, the African nation torn by yet more tribal infighting and therefore reminiscent of certain areas of Yapton. He hopes to find a solution to the conflict there, but would surely have been best advised to take Gordon Brown with him: Brown could then gurn at the Congolese rebel militia, forcing them into a panicked retreat. 

 

David Bellamy appears to have done very little in the past four months, except opening a new botanic garden in Bristol (July) and teaching schoolchildren (June) how to protect the nation's beaches ("Smack my beach up"? No?)

 

David N'Gog moved to Liverpool FC from Paris St. Germain in the summer; thus disproving the popular urban myth that all French teenagers are signed by Arsene Wenger. He made his debut against Aston Villa in August, and is noted for his excellent goals for the French youth sides. He is Jean-Alain Boumsong's cousin. (It seems almost inevitable that he will be mentioned in a quiz in the distant future about lesser-known Liverpool squad players, so remember his name. He also appears in this list due to the blogger's absolute unwillingness to mention David Beckham... oops.)

 

David Dickinson. He of the Bargain Hunt appeared on Ant & Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway. Following the frantic driving challenge, Ant and Dec's Saturday night takeaway appeared on David Dickinson. [Audience card: LAUGH]

 

David Bowie released an album free with 'The News of the World' in June. This disc contains a selection of obscure album tracks. On 3rd November, some of Bowie's music videos were shown in New York 's Museum of Modern Art. Not that modern, surely?

 

More on our sampling of Davids in January, by which time Bellamy may have jumped into another river.